May 2010
4 posts
Historic Event
Let it be known: it is 8:50 on a SCHOOL NIGHT, and my homework is done. Done. Every “t” is crossed, “i” dotted. There’s nothing left. You might be wondering what accounts for this miracle. It’s simple:
Laptop=off (except for scholarly endeavours)
Phone=gone (aka, confiscated by my mother)
My mom’s been right this entire time. I can be so much more...
Ironic?
Mom: Did you get Casey's Twitter? After I told her about that research on how your generation spends so much time managing their image, rather than finding themselves, she deleted her Facebook account.
Jill: You mean, she deleted her Facebook account to prove she didn't care about her image, then she Twittered about it?
Mom: ...
“Men get such hardons from putting their names on things. You guys don’t...”
– Natalie Keener
Up in the Air
Why is demeaning men so stinking entertaining?
Activities Accomplished Upon our Arrival at...
Lunch (while drawing pictures with the paper and crayons provided by the restaurant)
Cake (chocolate mousse, of course)
Coffee (a must)
Bonding over cake and coffee (and by bonding, I mean reliving our horrible childhoods)
We have our priorities in order.
October 2009
6 posts
The Gardiner Girls Way of Getting Over Things
(Note, it's witty banter, not the other possibilities mentioned in the following conversation. . . that would just be weird)
Casey: Jill, have you seen my latest Tumblr?
Jill: (who-cares-eye-roll) No.
Casey: You should. It will make you happy.
Jill: Does it involve killing all men except the ones you use as sex slaves?
Casey: No.
Jill: (walks away)
Casey: But I like that idea!
Romeo, Romeo, Where art thou Romeo?
Some excerpts from my homework assignment about my first impressions of Romeo after reading Act I Scene I of Romeo and Juliet:
“Not only is Romeo disgustingly susceptible to the throes of love, but, to give him even less of a back-bone, he is a victim of unrequited love.”
“…Romeo had fallen into a never-ending well of self pity…”
“…his...
Theories of the Day
Writing is a skitzofrenic process!
—Mr. Gustafson
(Algebra) is a course in creative laziness.
—Ms. Bratt
Text Times
Jill: You're making jokes already - a sign that you're getting over your heartbreak!
Rob: NEVER! I'm watching my Big Fat Greek Wedding and eating mac and cheese.
Jill: WE CAN SPRAY WINDEX ON YOUR BROKEN HEART!
Sesquipedalian
(adj) given to or characterized by the use of long words.
Doesn’t that inspire the (possibly incredibly small) part of you that wants to improve your vocabulary?
“You got makeup, Jill got a cupcake - all is right with the world.”
– Mi madre (upon her return from AZ)
Note to Self:
Do NOT come up with ideas while having techno dance party with sister-results in painful falling to ground …
September 2009
2 posts
Politics. Stink.
July 2009
12 posts
“Just think of it in a religious sense!”
– Quote of the Day
—Melanie
(On our way to church, we couldn’t find any religious “jams”, so we turned on We Will Rock you, and thus this quote was born)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGaOlfmX8rQ
(Of course, I had to include a link to the song)
“My best friend is someone who brings me a book I have not yet read.”
– —Abraham Lincoln
(I’m sorry, but this quote is me in a nutshell)
June 2009
3 posts
“It is the key to the Magic Garden of Proofs and if you are falling asleep you...”
– Mrs. Agulian
—Reminiscing about our first few geometry classes as I study for the final … 9 months later and I still don’t understand this quote :)
I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO IS CONFUSED! →
“Your shit’s a mess.”
– Will Hayes — Definitely Maybe
(Ironic? Maybe. True all too often? Definitely.)
April 2009
8 posts
Nobel Prize
Mike: Hey, do we have bio homework?
Jill: Nope-she never gave us the study guide.
Mike: She was too excited about the Nobel Prize guy.
Jill: I shook his hand B)
Mike: You're cool.
Jill: Very.
Mike: You should get an award.
Jill: Maybe my own Nobel Prize!
Swine Flu
Bird Flu:
http://www.whoomp.com/articles/202/1/Avian-Bird-Flu-On-The-Daily-Show
(watch the video)
BIRD - Person - Person
SWINE Flu:
PIG - Person - Person
It’s BACK!
Outdoors Trip. ..
Jackie: Darn, I lost my spot as at the front of our group.
Jill: That's okay. Now you can be last and fight the bears with me.
Jackie: Oh, right! Have you fought any off yet?
Jill: Only three. It's been a slow morning. . .
One Acts
Jill: I GOT IN! I GOT IN!
Dad: (huge smile) Congratulations! So Jill, what is this play about?
Jill: Well, I'm the wife of a cross-dresser and we're visiting his psychotic mother.
Dad: (no expression) Oh.
“The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making...”
– Joe Fox (You’ve Got Mail )
Scrabble
New words to add to the dictionary:
Yuw (an exclamation made after winning a game of checkers)
Lub (a lazy person who can’t think of a more creative use of letters)
Gr (I’m mad at you)
Gil (the gill of a fish that has a deformity)
Oh the joys of game night.
The Mysterious Ticking Noise
I just watched the Harry Potter Puppet Pals episode where the Snape Snape, Severus Snape song was sung. You never realize how many times you’ve watched it until, after not watching it for more than a year, you still remember the words.
March 2009
2 posts
On Mondays
In elementary school, whenever a kid was asked what their favorite day of the week was, they would say Friday/Saturday. There was always the occasional oddball who said Wednesday (who was thus shunned from the Friday/Saturday crowd), and then there was me. I would always say Monday, desperately trying to stick to the geeky personality placed on me since infancy. I, in fact, hated Mondays, but...
February 2009
7 posts
After having spent 2 1/2 hours trying to find my...
Dad: What recession?
Jill: DON'T USE THE R-WORD!
Lizard King
Lee: [holding a 2 liter bottle of Pepsi] A present from the Lizard King.
Jill: What if I don't want a present from the Lizard King?
Lee: He'll get mad.
Jill: I don't fall under the jurisdiction of the Lizard King, so I don't need a present from him. You can tell him I don't accept presents from reptiles.
Lee: You can't NOT accept a present from the Lizard King.
Jill: Well I am. Heck, I'm going to wage war against the Lizard King.
Lee: You can't do that!
Jill: Why not?
Lee: Because. . . you can't!
Jill: I am anyway.
Lee: That's awesome!
“Actually, garbage collectors are paid VERY well. I’m in the wrong...”
– I love my Spanish teacher!
Black History Month
In my Civilizations class, we start every class with a “Did You Know”, provided by our teacher. Today’s topic was, “Did you know … some people find issue with Black History Month?” This spurred a rousing conversation in our class. Why is it we designate a month for the history of the black people? Would it be better if we simply fazed this special focus on...
“I’m a daredevil! I didn’t use a ruler for my last geometry problem!”
– Me :]
Zumba
Mom: Jill, do you want to go to Zumba class?
Jill: No, I have to do homework. . .
[5 minutes later]
Jill: Wait a second! My health is way more important than my homework! I'm going to Zumba class gosh darn it!
Mom: Yeah!
Jill: Yeah! I'm going! I'm going to work out! I'M GOING TO BURN MY BRA!
Mom: You might want to wait until after Zumba to do that.
[for those of you who don't know, Zumba is this latin dancing aerobic workout, so . . . Mom had a point there]
Brick. Breaker.
Mom: NOOOOOOO!!!!!
Jill: That's it. Give me the blackberry.
Mom: [innocent face] I was checking my email. . .
January 2009
4 posts
“Presidents Clinton, Carter, both Bushes, and Barack Obama sat down to share a...”
– Laugh Lines [New York Times]
1/11/2009
Jimmy Kimmel
“Prokaryotes are like the hippies of cells because their DNA is freeeeee!”
– Mom
“Casey: Are m & d home yet?
Me: Nope. They stopped at a McDonalds on the way...”
New Year's Fortunes
First, choose a one number from 1-13 [no peeking first!].
Second, turn around three times and clap your hands together.
Third, jump on one foot, pat your head, and rub your stomach while saying, “I must look like an idiot right now.”
Fourth, find the fortune that corresponds with the number you chose above.
In 2009 you will… Become a MAVERICK & do mavericky things...
December 2008
6 posts
Casey is more of a dog than Bebe. . .
[at Dad who is cross-country skiing in our front yard]
Casey: Look Bebe - it's Dad. Bark at him!
Bebe: [blink]
Casey: He's attacking!
Bebe: [blink]
Casey: Arf! Woof!
Bebe: [blink]
Discussing the "air"
Mom: Up in the atmosphere. Up where the air is CLEAR!
Casey: Yeah, you know who wrote that?
Mom: Mary Poppins.
Casey: Yeah, and she was a crack ho [ho ho].